This week saw international woman’s day and tomorrow will be mothers day so I thought I’d take this opportunity to speak about an unsung hero and great influence on my life my mother.
I often speak about the positive effect and role models that my father and Grandfather had on my life, my mother has also been a strong influence in the person I am today.
My mother was 16 when she found out she was carrying me, a doctor at the hospital advised “she would never be able to look after me” and “you do realise this will not be a doll” from what I’ve heard I was a difficult birth and I haven’t at times made it easy for my mum. Being a single parent of a mixed race child in the 70’s meant my mother suffered stigma and as I’ve said in another post abuse.
I lived with my mother, Nan and Grandad until to cut a story short my mother met and married my step dad who later adopted me. We lived in a council house in Gainsborough and soon we where joined by a little sister. My parents worked shifts and juggled childcare between them both. When my parents found themselves in a better financial position and wanted to move on and purchase their own home they turned down the chance to buy their council house and brought a house elsewhere because my mum felt it important that another family less fortunate got the chance to have that home.
My mother has always been a straight talker and to the point and spoke her mind, I’m sure she would not mind me saying that diplomacy has never been a strong point but my mum is also one of the most caring and thoughtful people I’ve ever known. I could not have been easy having me as a child and I appreciate some of that even more as a parent myself. I was a sickly child who managed to contract random ailments as I grew and became interested in sports and other activity’s I spent more and more time in A&E worrying my mother became a common trend (that has carried on).
As a family we always dealt with things with a sense of humour and a lot of that comes from my mother and her personality. My mum had an energy and a vigour about her which circumstance has cruelly taken from her. The death of my dad hit us all and my mum suffered a lot of pain. But in recent years my mum has suffered physically, my mother has arthritis both rheumatoid and osteoarthritis this has also lead to autoimmune disorders. My mum is in pain almost all the time and also suffers from fatigue. My mum has also recently been diagnosed with another disorder that in the words of her doctor “won’t kill you but will seriously affect your quality of life”.
My mother with all this still manages to be a strong guiding light to our family. I could never put into words the debt I owe and how much I thank her for everything she has done and given to me. I’m the man I am today because of my mother and hopefully I can make her proud.
One final thing as this is about mothers day I want to mention another woman who I think is doing a fantastic job as mother that is my little sister Naomi. She is a great mother to two young boys and I am very proud of her. But also I want to give thanks to another group of woman all the step mums,adopted mums and foster mums you are all making a difference in someone lives and I thank you all